i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
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Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
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I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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