It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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