so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
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So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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