Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
