Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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