i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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