first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
