dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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