1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
