girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
