chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
