Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
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i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
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It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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