Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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