writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
