Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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