I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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