What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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