I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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