Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
