in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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