So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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