at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
