Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
