so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Hippo gnu deer
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
