On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
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