Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
