They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize