Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
