mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
mondays should just be called national damage control day
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
