we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
where are you?
Hypothermia
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
