bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
