Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize