I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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