is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
