You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
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Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
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I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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