Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
