I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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