Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
