I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
