so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
