So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
