see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
