the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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