As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
