32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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