I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
