worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I understand Curling. That high.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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