C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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