he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
