New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
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