this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
