I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
What happened to fro yo and sex?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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