He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
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I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
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I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
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