also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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