She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
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