Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
