me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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