tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We need to rekindle our bromance
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize